Wondering What Happens in Life Coaching? Here’s What to Expect
You’ve probably heard of life coaching — maybe you’ve even thought “I could do with a bit of that…” — but what actually happens when you sit down with a coach? Will it be awkward?
If you’re feeling curious (or a bit unsure), this post is for you. I’ll walk you through what a session is really like.
What is coaching?
The International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) definition is;
“Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.”
Any clearer?!
So what does this mean in real life? For me, it’s an explorative conversation where I help you to sift through your thoughts, doubts, beliefs and patterns of behaviour. Imagine your mind is a bowl of spaghetti which needs sorting through and straightening out.
My role is to help you untangle it all, decide what needs attention, maybe what you need to let go of or change and leave it ordered. Coaching is about self-development, self-discovery, and empowerment. It’s about looking ahead and setting clear actionable goals for yourself.
Let me give you an example:
Rachel* is 48. She’s looking ahead to her 50th birthday and wondering, “Wow, how did I get here - and is this what I want my life to be?”
Life has been the same for years, but there’s a niggle that she has more to give. Her three children are growing up and needing her less. She feels like she’s busy all the time and does very little for herself.
She has a sense that she might need to make some changes, that life could be more fulfilling, that she wants to make her midlife years really count.
She tries some life coaching and finds it life-affirming that someone is taking the time to listen to her. She feels truly seen and heard, maybe for the first time in years.
Her coach asks her questions which enables her to see things clearly, she has a lightbulb moment - her job isn’t enough for her anymore but she lacks the self-belief to look for another one. She identifies that her core values are freedom, creativity and accomplishment - yet currently, her life is lacking in two of these.
She realises she has a pattern of saying yes to everyone and has very few boundaries in place to protect her own time and energy.
Her coach helps her think about things from a new perspective. She sees that with some small changes, things can be different. She comes up with some ideas, some changes she can make instantly and she can see a plan forming.
She feels like she has a personal cheerleader, motivating her, encouraging her, holding her accountable to her promises to herself. She feels energised and ready for change.
My role as a coach?
To listen- I mean really listen and watch for the non-verbal cues that give away what you’re thinking. It’s called active listening, it means maintaining 100% focus, it means spotting the tiny nuances in body language, facial expressions and language. That’s what makes the coaching space feel so safe, I’m there just for you. It takes concentration and practice, and that’s ultimately why paying a decent coach costs money.
I came across this quote recently:
“…pure attention without judgement is not only the highest form of human intelligence, but also the expression of love..” *
To support- it’s not my role to give you my opinion, to tell you what you ‘should’ do or to give you the answers. I hold a light structure to my sessions so that we can get some clarity and a conclusion in the time we have, but otherwise it’s a beautifully free-flowing stream.
To hold you accountable- we’ll always try and work towards a specific next step, for example; “I’m going to do x by next week.” Sometimes it’s less tangible but you’ll always feel that you have something to work on.
What coaching is not
It’s not therapy or a place to explore the past in great detail. If you have an unresolved trauma, phobia or deep-seated issue that you feel you need to talk through you should see a counsellor, hypnotherapist or psychotherapist. Therapy is more about healing. Coaching is more about growth and forward movement. I’ll always let you know if I don’t feel you’re ready for coaching and help you find a suitable professional.
Is coaching for me?
I mean you know what I’m going to say here right?!
If you need support to untangle the stuff in your head, make a plan and move forwards, then absolutely- I believe everyone can benefit from coaching. You’ll find all coaches have their own coaches!
Why not try it and then you can answer that for yourself?
In their own words
Don’t just take it from me, here’s some snippets from client testimonials:
“Helen’s patience and warmth made me feel completely safe to be open, and with her guidance, I felt a deep mindset shift, in just a short amount of time.
I went from feeling like I was tied in a thousand knots, to having a suitable and realistic actionable plan to help me resolve future issues.” HP
“With your guidance it really helped me to begin to understand my own perspectives on the situation and to find some possible tools to explore moving forward. It was honestly the best money I’ve spent on myself in a long time!” LL
“Helen helped me to reignite the light that had gone out and I am hugely grateful for her support.” NA
Common Q&A’s
What if I cry?
That’s totally okay. Emotions are really common in coaching – they’re a sign that something meaningful is surfacing. We simply sit and let them pass. Tears can be a release, a way of letting go of the pressure you’ve been carrying. Please don’t feel the need to hold anything in.
Do I have to come with a goal already?
You don’t need a concrete goal, but it’s helpful to have a sense of what you’d like to be different. That gives us a starting point. Each session is flexible - we always set a focus for the day, because life changes and so can your priorities.
What if I don’t know what I want?
That’s more common than you might think — and totally fine. My job is to help you figure it out. Through gentle, open-ended questions, we’ll explore what’s going on and what matters most to you. You don’t need all the answers — just a willingness to be curious. By the end of our time together, you’ll feel a lot clearer.
What next?
If any of this has resonated with you and made you feel curious to learn more, why not book a free 45-min Reset call with me? It’s a gentle, no-obligation way to share what’s going on for you and I’ll aim to give you a sense of what your next step might be.
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See you soon.
Helen xx
*Rachel is a fictional character and her issues are an amalgamation of the common themes I hear with clients.
*The Things You Can See When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim p44.
